The days when being a working mom is hard

Today is one of those days when being a working mom is especially tough for me. One of the days when I am green with envy when I think about moms who are lucky enough to be able to stay home with their children. Moms that get to see the milestones their children hit first, before anybody else does.

 

Yes, today I am jealous, a little bit bitter, and a little bit sad...all of which are not stellar qualities to possess, I know.

 

You see, Charlotte has been working on this crawling thing the past two weeks.  She has been so close.  She gets up on her knees and rocks back and forth, and she can scoot herself clear across the room.  But, she has yet to crawl for me.  I've been waiting, watching, and encouraging, but she just won't do it.

 

When I dropped her off at daycare this morning, her sweet teacher asked me, "Did Charlotte do anything new movement-wise last night?" It was in that instant that I knew she had crawled at daycare yesterday. Daycare is so good about not expressly telling you when your child reaches a major milestone, but I know her teachers are so excited and proud and want to share the joy. And I am joyful that my sweet girl is reaching these milestones, and reaching them ahead of schedule in most cases, but it is still a little sad that I'm not the first one to see it.

 

So, today I will carry that little twinge of jealousy in my heart, and tomorrow I will get over it. But, some days you just need to throw yourself a pity party.  Today is one of those days.

Oklahoma

As a mother, I can not fathom what is must feel like for the people in Oklahoma that have lost children or whose children are still missing after that horrible tornado. Just like I could not fathom what it must have felt like for the parents in Newtown, Connecticut. And, I hope I never have to endure the searing pain of loss that they are feeling right now. My heart just breaks for them as I think of my sweet baby girl. There is a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat when I imagine a mama dropping her baby off for school one morning not knowing that will be the last time she sees him. That, to me, is gut-wrenching...sickening...heart-stopping scary.

Every day is a gift that should be cherished, and I intend to remember that when I'm frustrated that Charlotte is spitting out the peas I made yesterday.  The same peas of which I have 16 meals worth. And I intend to remember that "this too shall pass" when she fights sleep at bed time. Those things are just minor frustrations... frustrations that many mamas and daddies today wish they could have back.

Again, I'm just sick over yet another tragedy. More lives lost. It's almost as if I hold my breath when I look at news reports because I fear what might have happened during the day. Did another bomb explode? Was there a natural disaster? Did a plant explode? Did a crazed gunman enter a school and kill innocent children? These things make me feel raw, exposed, scared. And yes, I have to admit, sometimes it is even hard to trust God in the midst of tragedies such as these. But, that is what I must do. As a Christian and a beliver and a child of God, I have to trust Him. I have to believe that He holds us all in the palm of His hand. That it is He who giveth and taketh away. But it is also He who will comfort us when the pain seems too much to bear.

So today, I hope that the people of Oklahoma are clinging to Him and seeking refuge in His arms as they process what has happened. And may their memories sustain them until they meet again the loved ones that they have lost.

And may everyone put aside the things that frustrate you today and hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight and cherish the present because we do not know what the future holds.

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

My First Mother's Day

 

I had such a wonderful first Mother's Day!  Charlotte and I spent the weekend at my parents' house, while WEG went offshore fishing and visited his mom.

 

On Saturday, my dad and I went to the Carolina v. Georgia baseball game.  It was a great game, and a win for the Gamecocks, who swept those Dawgs right back to Athens! I always love to beat UGA in a sport, and at times, I think I might like them even less than Clemson.  Sorry to any Dawg or Tiger fans out there...it's just the way I'm made.

On Sunday we went to church and dedicated Charlotte for her second time. She is one blessed baby, that's for sure. Mama cooked lunch and then Charlotte and I headed back home to see WEG!  I got some pretty earrings and a necklace with Cha's birthstone as gifts from "her" (aka my mom and WEG). I love them both!

It was nice to be in Elloree eating good home cooking and relaxing with my family.  Charlotte is so close to crawling and practiced all weekend. She was such a little ham for the family, especially at meal times, and she LOVES my grandmother.  She just laughs and grins at her.  It's the cutest thing.

I'm so thankful for weekends like this!

Motherhood

As I approach my first Mother's Day, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness that God chose me to be a mother... and not just any mother, Charlotte's mother. Oxford dictionary defines a mother as a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth. But for me, motherhood is so much more than that. It's looking at Charlotte and being completely filled with love and awe that she is mine.  It's my heart beating outside of my body. It's missing her with ferocity until I see her again. It's knowing that I am responsible for teaching her all of the good traits I want her to possess. It's being constantly amazed at each new thing she does. It's the tears that fall when I rock her to sleep and thank God for my blessings. It's the need to protect her from all that's bad in this world. It's the transformation that happened the moment I held her in my arms for the first time.

Motherhood is all of those things and more.  I could go on for days. Being a mother has made me realize what enormous sacrifices my own mom made for me and the depth of her love. I've always known, but until I was a mother, it did not hit home quite like it has since November 3rd. I am so thankful for my mama and all she does for me, and I could not ask for a better MeMa for my sweet girl.

So, on Mother's Day I'll be doubly thankful. For God's hand in making me a mother and for the mother He has given me.

Happy Mother's Day, y'all!

 

My sweet girl and me and Muffins with Mom at daycare this morning.

On gender confusion...

I'm going to stand up on my soap box for a moment because there is something that really makes me annoyed.

This morning at the doctor, Charlotte was dressed in a pink smocked outfit with a pink bib.  A lady looked right at her, looked at me, and said "How old is HE?"  HE?!  Seriously, lady?!  Since when do mothers dress their little boys in pink?  I answered, "SHE is 6 months old."  And, instead of letting it go, she said "Oh, she..."  And then, if that wasn't bad enough, her husband came in and he said "Wide awake!" when he looked at Charlotte, and I hear the lady whisper to him "It's a she" as if he would not know either.  Or maybe she just thought her husband was as ignorant as her when it comes to looking at a child wearing pink and still not guessing the correct gender.

Here's what Charlotte looked like this morning:

Now, I know, babies can sometimes look gender neutral until they get a little hair, but when a baby is dressed in head to toe pink, I would think that would be a dead give-away.

Okay, stepping down from my soap box.

Six months already?!

Charlotte Ruth,
You are six months old today!  It's hard to believe it was six months ago when we were anticipating your arrival.  It doesn't feel that long ago.  Too quote the old cliche, time flies when you're having fun.

 

You are such a blessing to us each and every day.  You are learning new things and constantly amaze mommy and daddy, and your teachers at daycare, with how much you are progressing.  Your little personality is developing, and it includes a streak of stubborness....I can't imagine where you got that.  Oh wait, yes I can...in fact, you probably got a double dose of it.  But besides being a little stubborn, you are just so sweet.  You don't seem to meet a stranger.

Currently, you have yet another ear infection.  It's affecting your eating which stresses mommy out a little, but you seem to be doing fine otherwise.  A little fussy at times, but still so sweet.  Last night, you slept from 7:30 until 7:15.  Wow, sweet girl!  That makes your mommy and daddy very happy.

During your six month, you have learned to sit (quite well, actually!), eat a variety of foods, and we are working on the sippy cup.  You are starting to get the hang of it.

You love it when daddy blows in your face and you will giggle and give him the sweetest little smile.  It melts our hearts.  Your laugh is just so cute, and I will do anything I can to hear it.

 

I had no idea six months ago the love I was going to feel, and it just grows and grows with each new day, as each day brings something new. 

So happy six months, butterbean!  We love you!

Yummm....food!

My child is an eater.  She absolutely loves food, and her teachers at daycare think it's so fun to feed her because she literally attacks the spoon.  When I am feeding her in the evenings and I do not reload fast enough, she opens her mouth wide and lunges forward.  If she could talk, I'm pretty sure she would say "hurry up, Mama!"  I guess it should come as no surprise that she likes food given the fact that I am her mother, and I absolutely love to eat.

So far, she has eaten and enjoyed zucchini, sweet potatoes, carrots, applesauce, pears, peaches, apples & bananas & strawberries (a mixture), and we just re-tried avocado last night.  Our first go-round with avocado was a failure, but mixed with a little oatmeal last night, she seemed to like it.  Her favorites are zucchini and sweet potatoes and the fruits. 

 

We are buying the Gerber fruits, but I am making her vegetables.  It's been quite an easy process.  I steam/bake the food then puree it in the food processor.  Once it's a good consistency, I spoon the puree into ice trays and freeze.  Once frozen I bag it.  This makes it super easy to travel, as well as do at home.  I just take out two ice cubes for dinner and thaw them in the microwave for about 45 seconds.  The zucchini is watery, so I thicken it with a little oatmeal. 

Next on our list of veggies to try are green peas and yellow squash.  I know we started the whole solid foods thing a little earlier than the recommended six months, but Charlotte went through a phase where it was a major struggle to get her to drink her milk, and my instincts told me that she needed nutrition in some form, so we started sending her lunch to daycare in addition to the oatmeal she was eating morning and night.  Then we transitioned from oatmeal at night to a vegetable.  It's worked for us, but I am by no means saying that it is right for everyone! 

 

At almost six months, Charlotte is eating oatmeal for breakfast, a fruit for lunch, and two cubes of veggies for dinner.  She is back to taking her bottle better, so she usually eats around 25-30 ounces of milk per day.

Are there any veggies that your children absolutely loved that I should try?

In other news, last week were Charlotte's school pictures.  I was quite skeptical because I thought for sure there was no way they could get an almost six month old to cooperate.  Boy, was I pleasantly surprised.  Below are the proofs.  Sorry for the bad quality, but I took a picture of the sheet they were printed on!