Turn the other cheek?

This post may get long so if you want to bow out now, I don't blame you, but it's something that has been weighing on my mind for a few weeks now and was made worse yesterday.

A little bit of backstory before I get to the title of the post. The preacher at the church I grew up in came to us when I was in 4th grade. Over the years, the church has had its ups and downs with him. In short, he didn't visit shut-ins, people at the hospital, elderly people in the church, etc. like he should have. Instead, he has always been more concerned with hunting, fishing, and whatever else he could find to do rather than what he was supposed to be doing as the leader of a church. He has also always been a little bit shady in some of his dealings- with cell phone companies, bailing his problem son out of trouble time and time again, etc. Things that you would think a preacher would be upright about.

Last year my dad was chairman of the deacons at the church. His term just ended 2 months ago, but while he was serving as chair, he realized a lot of things about the preacher that he probably already knew, but didn't see as much first hand prior to being the chair. For instance, my dad was the one who would visit those people the preacher didn't, and not that my dad minded, but he has a full time job and was still having to do it because the preacher did not. Dad also realized that the preacher was taking a lot of credit for starting programs within the church that he did not, in fact, start. Case in point- there is a program one Saturday a month where some of the church members cook meals and deliver them to shut-ins in the community. The preacher never even walked next door from his house to the church to see how things were going. And on Sunday nights when my parents and other church members were at the church teaching English as a second language to some of the Hispanic population, do you think the preacher participated or even came over to see how it was going? Nope.

So, long story short (although I have already made it long) he just wasn't doing what some people thought he should. His sermons did not cut it, either. Often I would go home and listen to him ramble for 30 minutes through a sermon that did not have a cohesive message. When I started attending a church here in Columbia, I realized how severely lacking the sermons at my home church really were in comparison. Because of these things, many of the church members in the past several months had gotten disillusioned and did not feel he could be the spiritual leader of the church anymore. This all started in my dad's last few months of being deacon chair, so they came to him to help do something. In no way, shape, or form would my dad ever do anything that he felt was not right and there was not a reason for doing. So when church members started going elsewhere to church and asking for a solution, my dad stepped in and tried to talk to the preacher about the concerns. Of course, the preacher did not see where he was doing anything wrong, and when asked to prayerfully consider stepping down, he did not feel "led" to do that.

In the meantime, dad's term ended as chairman, and two other men stepped in as co-chairs of the deacons. Meetings were held to discuss the problems, and the preacher was finally told that if he did not step down, then a petition could be signed by a majority of the congregation to have him removed. My dad was the one that had to tell him this, but prefaced it by saying he didn't want it to come to that. So, the preacher said he would step down, but only if he was compensated with a very large sum for doing so. The church members voted to do this in order to get rid of him and bring the church back to where it should be without all the dissension.

Now, here's the part of my post that goes along with the title. One of the preacher's daughters is my age. We have never been the best of friends growing up, and now I know exactly why. Apparently she has been putting things on her facebook and telling people all sorts of horrible things about my father. She has called him and other members of the deacon board the devil and has said terrible things. This has all gotten back to people in the church because of the people she has chosen to say these things to. She has told people that know my father and some of the other deacons, and they know the truth and the real character of my dad and the others. Dad did not want this whole thing to come to this, but it was necessary to not completely separate the church and drive long-term members away. The preacher was given an easy out and he chose not to pursue that route, instead causing the hullaballoo that we have now.

It makes me very angry to hear the nastiness that is spewing from the preacher's daughter's mouth about my dad and other moral, upright deacon board members. These are men I have known all my life. Men that I know are of good character with strong faith. Men that I'd stand behind any day in their decisions. Never in my life have I felt that way about the preacher. So, it is hard for me to just turn the other cheek like the Bible tells me to when I hear how she is spitting venom about these men. I know she is upset, but now she has made me upset. Shouldn't she have turned the other cheek first, even if she felt that her views and her father's side of the story was the correct one? Isn't that what her father preached? So, why am I supposed to turn the other cheek when she says horrible things about my father if the preacher's daughter can't even do it? If I happened to run into her, to tell you the truth, I'm not sure how I'd react. I'd probably feel compelled to call her out. Luckily, we don't live near each other and the only times I would see her anyway were at church, so I think I'll be able to take the moral high road even through my anger.

Boy, turning the other cheek is tough!