Hi ladies! I'm coming to you with a question since many of you have already "been there, done that" as far as wedding showers go.
We are beginning to have people ask us if they can throw us a shower, for which we are beyond grateful! However, this has me thinking about guest lists for said showers- mainly what I do about inviting our wedding party.
Did you invite your wedding party to every shower? I'd love to invite them to all of them, and here is my reasoning. The people throwing them are from various parts of our lives. My bridesmaids know some of them, but they don't know others. I'd love for them to be able to interact with people that are going to be involved in our wedding prior to the big day. I just think a wedding is a lot more fun when people are comfortable around each other at the reception and have already made each other's acquaintance.
However, I do not want them to feel obligated to attend every shower or party. I don't know how many there will be, and I may be jumping the gun, but if there are multiple showers, I don't expect them to drop everything to attend them all. But, I want to extend the invitation so that they can come if they are able and want to. I also do not want them to bring me a present to every shower. I don't expect them to pay for a dress, pay for other things they'll be involved with, and then feel like they have to buy me a present for everything. I could care less about the presents-seriously.
I'm sure many of you were faced with a similar situation, so how did you handle it?
Some of the weddings I have been in the bride has invited us but told us we are not obligated to attend or bring a gift. I think it depends on the shower hostess. I went to several of my friend's showers, but that was because I was friend's with the hostess and truly wanted to attend. But I did skip one or two because they were more family.
ReplyDeleteExcited for you! :)
Here's what I would do--invite them to all of them, but before the invites go out, send out an email saying that you love them and want them to be included as much as possible but that you understand the financial/time committment involved in being in a wedding party. Therefore, you have opted to include them in every shower in the hopes that they can come to whichever fits best into their schedule or all of them if they choose. I might even go as far as to say that "you presence is the best present so please do not feel obligated to bring a gift!".
ReplyDeleteWe had 3... no wait, 4 wedding showers, but I don't think that we invited all of them to each one, and they were completely fine with that. It helped that some of the showers were in completely different states. I think that it's perfectly fine to invite them to all of your showers, but then just send a follow-up email explaining that they aren't expected to bring a gift, but just to be there and enjoy!
ReplyDeleteI love what d.a.r. said. I have always put the wedding party on the guest list for every shower I've thrown, and also been invited to every shower for which I've been in the wedding party. The bride made it clear to us, however, that we were not EXPECTED to attend and bring a gift to every one of them, but because we were in her wedding party we were on each guest list as a courtesy.
ReplyDeleteWe invited our wedding party to every shower, but with an understanding that we didn't expect them to be at every party/shower and certainly didn't want them to get us a gift for all of them! I hope planning is going great! Email me if you want/need help:)
ReplyDeleteI'd invite them to all, but mention that you understand they won't be able to make it to all of them. If you're having one "main" shower, maybe let them know that that one is more important to you. I'd also let them know you don't expect gifts at each shower. I was in a friend's wedding who had 4 showers, and I was expected at each one. Her mom acted like I was cheap for getting her only a small gift for each one. I'm sorry, but the wedding was expensive enough! :)
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